Update on my Health

[CuttingEdge]

I have not been on this forum much, because I really have not been doing much. As most people know, I got cancer that has really been kicking in my teeth lately. Hopefully I do not come across as whining on this, because that is not my intent, but there is not a lot good to report.

In January I stopped logging because of something called Cancer Fatigue, which is just extreme exhaustion where a person cannot even function. I might do something today for instance, a 30 minute activity and it will take 2 days to recover.

So in Febuary I sold my bulldozer, and had a logger come in and cut some of my woodlot off to help pay my property taxes. He cut 72 tractor trailer loads of wood, paid me $1100, of the $11,000 he owes me...and is now gone. By law he has 45 days to pay me after each truck load, but he is well over that. That issue is now in the hands of attorneys, the Maine Forest Service and the Attorney General's Office. I will get my money, but it will be years before that happens.

So in order to pay for our property taxes, Katie and I then sold off our flock of sheep. We kept two, but only because we had to have something for our Live Guard Dog to watch. When you are a farmer and watch all your sheep leave on trailer, it is a very sad day all because a logger thought his bills were more important than yours.

Then Katie found out she was pregnant, only to lose the baby in a miscarriage two months later. We have four daughters, so we have been blessed by children for sure, but still, would have loved to had another.

Then the next day after finding out we lost our baby (gender unknown), we found out my cancer is spreading to my Lymph Nodes. If you know anything about cancer, that is NOT good. So while I am not going to undergo emergency surgery, they are setting me up for immediate surgery soon. I guess the only good thing about that is, with all these offending body parts removed , I'll be losing weight!

I guess it was nice to retire at age 42, but as good as my career was at welding/machining; I kind of regret it now. It is nice to be able to repair and fabricate just about anything, but years of being around x-ray have also really taken their toll. Even if I live through this, it has taken 15 months out of my life.

[Stan Disbrow]

Hi,

I have been thinking about you lately, wondering how you were getting on. So, thank you for the update. I know it is much harder to talk about these things when they are not good than when it is good news. I really hate the news regarding the logger. That is akin to salt in the wound, as it were. And, the miscarriage, while harder on her, is yet another kick while you are down.

Lymph nodes. Well, they are the trash pumps in the body's sewer system. Cancer there actually shows your immune system is working on the cancer. That actually can be a good sign, but only if it doesn't spread thru the system to marrow, lungs or brain. Sounds like it will be dealt with before that happens.

Keep your chin up. A positive attitude is the most effective treatment. Feel free to use my old rescue squad method of dealing with The Bad. Take a deep breath. Hold it. Let it out. Then, say to yourself: Still Breathing.

The adage is: Don't sweat the Small Stuff. And, if *you're* Still Breathing, it is all Small Stuff! To illustrate where it comes from, a house fire. With trapped people. You go in with a Scott Pak. As long, as you can still breathe, it is good. Have that can run out and so all you suck is mask....time to Sweat.

Stan

[Lavoy]

Everyone here is thinking of you.
Lavoy

[77 Ford]

Sending you all the best from Missouri!

[dtoots1]

and OHIO

[1954cooter]

Thinking of you from New Brunswick(Canada)

[amos]

Logger that ripped you off will get his comeuppance: Karma is real and has no mercy. Your main concern is and shall be beating the cancer. Get junkyard dog mean and beat the living crap out of it. Show it no mercy and when you're feeling down get even meaner.Nutrition is paramount: find anything you like and EAT. Keep the calories coming in so your body has the energy to fight the cancer.Do some research and take supplements to boost your natural immune system.
Ex was diagnosed with "terminal" astrocytoma brain cancer and had a baseball size tumor that had destroyed 90% of her right frontal lobe removed. Then chemo and radiation.Docs said it was terminal and I said bullshit to that and made her fight for her life.
My job was keeping her well nourished,making her go to her appointments,and making her take her meds that because of the brain damage she was convinced were poison and I was trying to kill her. Tough fight that cost us our marriage but she is currently a 7 year survivor of "terminal" cancer.She functions well and if you didn't know the extent of her brain damage you would see anything unusual in her actions etc. We still talk 3 or 4 times a month and she now understands what I was doing to help her survive.
Attitude is paramount and I can't stress enough that you have to get down right MEAN and fight to live.Life is hard: deal with it. Sometimes you get a crappy hand: deal with it. But FIGHT to live another day because life will be good and then you do get the royal flush and those days wipe away hundreds of crappy days.